Getting to Yes

A good agreement is one that wise and efficient and which improves the parties' relationship. Wise agreements satisfy the parties' interests and are fair and lasting. To reach that point, Fisher and Ury use 4 principles:
 * 1) Separate the people from the problem
 * 2) Focus on interest rather than a position
 * 3) Generate a variety of options before settling the agreement
 * 4) Use objectives criteria

Separate the people from the problem
People tend to become personally involved with the issue and their side's position. As a consequence, they will take as a personal attack any pushback on the issue or position. To open up the discussion, and get a more objective view of the problem, it is essential to distance the person from the problem.

There are 3 origins to people problem:

Focus on interest rather than a position
Your position is something you have decided upon, your interests are what caused you to decide. Understand why each party holds the position they do and why they don't hold other positions. Stay open to different proposals and positions.

Avoid the win-lose situation by focusing on shared interest.Look for items that are low cost for you and high interest for the other and vice versa to reconciling different interests.

Generate options
Do not focus too hastily on a solution, instead, take the time to consider alternatives. Separate the generation process from the evaluation stage. Start by brainstorming all possible solutions, even partial solutions. Evaluate the solutions starting with the most promising one. Refine and improve as needed.

Use objectives criteria
To evaluate solutions, each party should use objective criteria. Based on scientific findings, standards, or legal precedent. Every party should agree on the criteria and how to evaluate them. Ideally, all parties took the time to think about the criteria they want to use but also be ready to re-evaluate them if required, never give in to pressure, threats, or bribes.

Dealing with dirty tricks
The best way to deal with dirty tricks is to acknowledge them and raise the issue out loud. Then use this momentum to set up a standard for the negotiation. Identifying the trick and bringing them to the surface should be enough to deter further use of the trick.

In the extreme case of bargaining where only one side is doing the concession, recognize the tactic, and refuse to negotiate. Even in the case of take-it or leave-it, treat it as a proposal, evaluate it, and use objective criteria.